Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I could make wine with my vomit
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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