you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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