He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
