My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
