I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wish my penis had a tongue
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
