Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
