If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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