why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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