the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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