Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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