Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
