where does the pee come out of this thing
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
