Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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