just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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