You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
