id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
