a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
