Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
