it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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