dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
