i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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