when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
