Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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