You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize