I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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