A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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