Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
