I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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