READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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