I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh god it's open bar.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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