Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
