So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
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just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.