Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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  (916): Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms http://tfl.nu/1qb7
  Replies (27) Good night (12087) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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  (330): would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles. http://tfl.nu/usa7
  Replies (27) Good night (2140) Bad night (5880)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14937) Bad night (1511)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.

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  (336): He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one. http://tfl.nu/csjr
  Replies (10) Good night (1384) Bad night (4990)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.

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  (917): Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep. http://tfl.nu/ccvs
  Replies (5) Good night (1478) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.

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  (217): Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn. http://tfl.nu/jae6
  Replies (11) Good night (1959) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!

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  (989): We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right! http://tfl.nu/l472
  Replies (4) Good night (1662) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday

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  (613): Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday http://tfl.nu/1nci
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.

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  (937): Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12. http://tfl.nu/tqh0
  Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm in love.

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  (630): She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot. (630): I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/l0w2
  Replies (3) Good night (1609) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex

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  (253): I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex http://tfl.nu/2x7d
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME

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  (619): i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME http://tfl.nu/1892
  Replies (4) Good night (614) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"

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  (973): Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American" http://tfl.nu/vpvu
  Replies (0) Good night (280) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.

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  (703): You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/esvn
  Replies (0) Good night (964) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

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  (585): I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME http://tfl.nu/jac1
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (436)

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