Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we're so committed to being not committed
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.