I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.