i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
nutella sex= disaster
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
