Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are