Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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