Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
