so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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