Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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