One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I didn't notice because vodka
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
