Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
