Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
