what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
