At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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