you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
