The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
