So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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