Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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