we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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