Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
