question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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