Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
