you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
love makes seman taste better
I am midnight drunk by noon
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
