Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize