Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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