in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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