dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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