Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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