Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
