Jerry, you need to find god
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She tied me up with her honor cords...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
