When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
